Mr Coke

Posted on September 21, 2011


The splendidly named Jamaican Drug Lord Christopher M. Coke has written an astonishing letter to a Manhattan Federal District Court Judge in a plea for clemency in the face of a possible 23 year sentence for, you guessed it, drug crimes. The New York Times posted a copy of his scrawled beg for mercy which included a list of 13 reasons he should receive a lenient sentence. Having read the letter, one would presume he’s some sort of Caribbean Christ re-incarnate, not a notorious crim who allegedly bossed a global trafficking from an armed stronghold in Kingston and listed a chainsaw as one of his tools of the trade.

Among the arguments in his favour, Mr. Coke listed the wishes of his dying mother, the trauma his 8 year old son was now being subject to and his work with local school children. While we’d love to believe he’s just a misunderstood scally, it’s perhaps best to leave the final word to one of his victims, Maxine Riley: “Mr. Coke is the Hitler of the Caribbean; this is an opportunity for him and his murderous organization to be permanently dismantled.”

Posted in: Waste of Time